Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm *so* depressed.
  I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, yet all I get to do is answer the phone....
• Just after the earthquake a friend of mine put on his answering machine
  "Hi, this is Jeff. We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the Earthquake....
• From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutma
  Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone ....
• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and numbe
  and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI....
• My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
  You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe....
• When I was taking a 300 level computer science class in college there was a girl in the class that was a good friend of mine
  he was one of those people that was accademiclly briliant with zero common scence....