- I like to sing to the songs on the radio in my car.
When you go into a tunnel, it's hard to come out on the right note.... - Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they
had towels from my house.
I play golf even though I hate it. I'm not done with a game yet. I hate those windmill... - How about those Dodge Turbo Wagons?! What's the deal on those anyway?
You can sleep in the back while you're waiting for a tow truck. Jim Samuel... - I don't have a problem with San Francisco parking. I drive a forklift.
This Thanksgiving is gonna be a special one.... - In Los Angeles, McDonalds quickly reacted to the highway shootings.
They came out with 'Happy To Be Alive Meals.' LA is a real strange place.... - I have one of those real old American built cars. The kind that
just PUNCHES through accidents.
John ?????... - You just know when a relationship is about to end. My girlfriend
called me at work and asked me how you change a lightbulb in the
bathroom.
It's very simple," I said. "You start by filling... - I come from a small town whose population never changed.
Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town. Authors Unknown, but still funny... - There are a lot of drunk people about to drive home, so drive as fast
as you can.
It's harder for drunk people to hit you.... - If you MUST reply to a rejection, include a description of your joke because there is 0 chance I will remember which one it was.
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