Related:

• Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
• IMPIETY: Your irreverence toward my deity.
• Did you know that 4 out of 10 accidents are caused by drunk drivers?
  Therefore you have less chance of getting into an accident if you're driving drunk then if driving sober....
• What is convenient and weighs 20,000 pounds? An elephant six-pack.
• The BBS that they invented autodial for.
• In 1492, Columbus Invented America!
• Then there was the guy whose roommate caught him pouring beer in his hand.
  "What are you doing?" he asked. "I wanna score tonight," the roommate with the beer replied, "so I'm getting my date drunk....
• That's Why God Invented Grenade Launchers!
• A DRUNK WAS STAGGERING DOWN THE STREET WITH A BOX UNDER EACH ARM.
  A POLICEMAN STOPS THE DRUNK AND ASKS: "EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THOSE BOXES UNDER YOUR ARMS?...