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• Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change.
• Show respect for age: Dring Good Scotch for a change!
• Undocumented Assembler Commands: AII Scatter Deck BAH Branch And Hang BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full BCF Branch on Chip box Full BOHP Bribe Operator for Higher Priority BSST BackSpace and Stretch Tape CUN Cancel all User Numbers EMW Emulate Maytag Washer ERD Eject Removable Disk EXOI EXecute Operator Immediately IA Illogical And KCE Kill Consultant on Error MST Mount Scotch Tape MVLR MoVe and Lose Record PDM Play Drum Memory (dated
  wot?) PLSC Perform Light Show on Console PS Print and Smear RPB Read Print and Blush RCSD Read Card and Scramble Deck RFSC Read Feed and Shred Card RIG Read Inter-record Gap RSD Read and Shuffle Deck RWRT Read While Ripping Tape SD Scatter Deck SPD SPin dry Disk SSD Seek and Scar Disk UER Update and Erase Record =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Intercourse Beats Masturbation Inefficient But Marketable Imperialism By Marketing Idiots Become Managers Insolence Breeds Mediocrity Incredibly Brilliant Marketing Incredibly Big Monopoly I Became Macintosh APPLE...
• QUOTES OVER THE YEARS Age 6 -- I've learned that if you spread the peas out on your plate, it looks like you ate more.
  Age 7 -- I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk....
• Young Kids With Real Insight 1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
  "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff....
• Operating Instructions For Scotch Tape.
• A New Years Wish? Please accept with no obligation implied
  my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion or secular traditions of all....
• You know your getting old when. . . ** There are three signs of old age.
  The first is your loss of memory, and the other two I forget....
• I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.