You know your getting old when. . .
** There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, and
the other two I forget.
** You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as
long as you don't have to go along.
** Middle age is when work is a lot less fun -- and fun a lot more work.
** Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every
man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
** You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start
confiding in you.
** Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
** By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
** Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun
to grow in the middle.
** A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his
doctor instead of by the police.
** You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only
thing you care to exercise.
** At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take laxative.
** Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
** The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through
** You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the
** You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it
** You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and
you didn't do anything the night before.
** The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
** Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that
you are not a hypochondriac.
** It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
** You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...