Marge: Homer, what happened to you?
Homer: Marge, I figured out what I can give you that no one else can: a
bouquet of po -- [sees Moe's bouquet] oh, I give up. I don't
deserve to live with you.
[walks off; coffee table catches on his pants, preventing him
from leaving]
Oh, my tattered rags are caught on your coffee table.
Marge: Oh, here, let me help you.
[unhooks it; she and Homer look at each others]
Homer: Wait a minute...wait, that's it! I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!
Marge: Homer, that's not a good thing.
Homer: Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing! Marge, I
need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could
possibly ever need you! I need you to take care of me, to put up
with me, and most of all I need you to love me, 'cause I love
you.
Marge: But how do I know I can trust you?
Homer: Marge, look at me: we've been separated for a day, and I'm as
dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours I'll be dead! I
can't afford to lose your trust again.
-- A compelling argument,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
Homer: Marge, I figured out what I can give you that no one else can: a
bouquet of po -- [sees Moe's bouquet] oh, I give up. I don't
deserve to live with you.
[walks off; coffee table catches on his pants, preventing him
from leaving]
Oh, my tattered rags are caught on your coffee table.
Marge: Oh, here, let me help you.
[unhooks it; she and Homer look at each others]
Homer: Wait a minute...wait, that's it! I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!
Marge: Homer, that's not a good thing.
Homer: Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing! Marge, I
need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could
possibly ever need you! I need you to take care of me, to put up
with me, and most of all I need you to love me, 'cause I love
you.
Marge: But how do I know I can trust you?
Homer: Marge, look at me: we've been separated for a day, and I'm as
dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours I'll be dead! I
can't afford to lose your trust again.
-- A compelling argument,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your
class.
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge... - Marge, look at me! We've been separated for a day,
and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours... - Homer: You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can finally
look down my nose at you.
_You_ have a gambling problem! Marge: That's true.... - Homer: It's a second wedding, honey. Our first one was so crummy,
I had to make it up to you. I really love you... - Homer: Come on, Marge, let me in! There's crickets out here.
[Marge opens the door, glares] OK, Marge. Things... - Homer: Wait a minute...even Lenny is teaching a class!
Look at the way they admire and adore him. ... - Patty: Homer, um...I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.
Homer: Please, on top of everything else, don't make... - Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the
collection money,
that's all I need. Bart: [looking at him] I didn't...
From the same category:
- Lisa: Hey, I thought Krusty was Jewish.
Bart: Christmas is a time when people of _all_ religions come together
to worship Jesus Christ.
[on TV, a commercial for a really violent... - Homer: Yeah, sure, for you, a baby's all fun and games.
For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings.... - Announcer: Blood on the Blackboard! The Bart Simpson story!
Starring Richard Chamberlain as Principal Skinner,... - Marge: Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?
Homer: I appreciate that, honey, but we need... - Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He <was> working in the hearts...
