Marge: Homer, what happened to you?
Homer: Marge, I figured out what I can give you that no one else can: a
bouquet of po -- [sees Moe's bouquet] oh, I give up. I don't
deserve to live with you.
[walks off; coffee table catches on his pants, preventing him
from leaving]
Oh, my tattered rags are caught on your coffee table.
Marge: Oh, here, let me help you.
[unhooks it; she and Homer look at each others]
Homer: Wait a minute...wait, that's it! I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!
Marge: Homer, that's not a good thing.
Homer: Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing! Marge, I
need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could
possibly ever need you! I need you to take care of me, to put up
with me, and most of all I need you to love me, 'cause I love
you.
Marge: But how do I know I can trust you?
Homer: Marge, look at me: we've been separated for a day, and I'm as
dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours I'll be dead! I
can't afford to lose your trust again.
-- A compelling argument,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
Homer: Marge, I figured out what I can give you that no one else can: a
bouquet of po -- [sees Moe's bouquet] oh, I give up. I don't
deserve to live with you.
[walks off; coffee table catches on his pants, preventing him
from leaving]
Oh, my tattered rags are caught on your coffee table.
Marge: Oh, here, let me help you.
[unhooks it; she and Homer look at each others]
Homer: Wait a minute...wait, that's it! I know now what I can offer you
that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!
Marge: Homer, that's not a good thing.
Homer: Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing! Marge, I
need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could
possibly ever need you! I need you to take care of me, to put up
with me, and most of all I need you to love me, 'cause I love
you.
Marge: But how do I know I can trust you?
Homer: Marge, look at me: we've been separated for a day, and I'm as
dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours I'll be dead! I
can't afford to lose your trust again.
-- A compelling argument,
"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"
Related:
- Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your
class.
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge... - Marge, look at me! We've been separated for a day, and I'm as dirty
as a Frenchman.
In another few hours, I'll be dead. I can't afford to lose your trust again.... - Homer: You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can finally
look down my nose at you.
_You_ have a gambling problem! Marge: That's true.... - Homer: It's a second wedding, honey. Our first one was so crummy, I had
to make it up to you.
I really love you. Marge: Oh, Homey. I know you love me.... - Homer: Come on, Marge, let me in! There's crickets out here.
[Marge opens the door, glares] OK, Marge.... - Homer: Wait a minute...even Lenny is teaching a class!
Look at the way they admire and adore him.... - Patty: Homer, um...I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.
Homer: Please, on top of everything else, don't make me picture your hides!... - Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the
collection money, that's all I need.
Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...
