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• Lisa: I can't believe it, Bart. I'd always thought Jessica was so sweet!
  Bart: She's like a Milk Dud, Lis: sweet on the outside, poison on the inside....
• Bart: Lisa, if I ever stop loving violence, I want you to shoot me.
  Lisa: Will do. -- Let someone who still loves it do it, "The Day the Violence Died...
• Lisa: Aw, come on, Bart, not again! Bart: [dialing the phone] Aw, where's your sense of humor.
  Moe: Moe's Tavern. Bart: Hello, is Al there? Moe...
• Oh my God, someone's trying to kill me! Oh wait, it's for Bart.
  -- Homer Simpson Cape Feare...
• Lisa: I was in the library at the time, but Janey told me that Principal Skinner and Bart's teacher, Mrs.
  what's her name? Marge: Krabappel?...
• Marge: I hope you realize now that violence on TV may be funny, but it's not so funny when that violence is happening to you.
  Bart: [smug] But it _would_ be funny to someone who was watching us....
• Bart: [dialing the phone] A little pre-dinner entertainment.
  Moe: [answering the phone] Moe's Tavern. Bart: Is Oliver there?...
• Bart: Help, Lisa! Help! Lisa: [running toward the sandbox] Bart, you're in trouble!
  Wake up! Bart: Wait a minute...if you're here, then you've fallen asleep too!...
• When Sideshow Bob is in court, accused of trying to kill Bart, the lawyer says to him on the stand, But what about that tattoo on your chest?
  Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?" Sideshow Bob responds by saying, "No, That's German for, 'The Bart, The....