Related:

• Lisa: [moans] I give up, there's nothing we can do.
  Bart: Yeah, I agree. You wanna start on trying to get Apu out of jail?...
• Lisa: Hey, the comic book store is still open. Ba
  Save our seats. Homer: Will do. [a couple takes their place] Ma...
• Bart: Dad, can we have $183,000? Homer: [Gets his wallet] What for?
  Bart: Lisa and I want to finance a series of animated cartoons....
• Lisa: So it's true: some cartoons _do_ encourage violence.
  [punches Bart] Bart: Ow! We gotta get Itchy & Scratchy back....
• Marge: Bart, Lisa, it's 11:00 at night. Where do you think you're going?
  Bart: Downtown. Lisa: We gotta get seats for the Itchy & Scratchy parade....
• Marge: I hope you realize now that violence on TV may be funny, but it's not so funny when that violence is happening to you.
  Bart: [smug] But it _would_ be funny to someone who was watching us....
• I do owe many thanks to Lester and Eliza. This is a great vindication for anybody who has ever taken a bath, went to get the paper, fell down, and the door slam behind them and the doorknow break off.
  -- A day in the life of Apu, "The Day the Violence Died...
• Bart: I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.
  [taps head] Lisa: Hmm. Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul....
• Bart: Lisa, will you keep it down? I'm making a crank phone call to Principal Skinner.
  Skinner: [on phone] Well, as a matter of fact, my refrigerator _wasn't_ running....