Related:

• Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet Iguana, Jub-Jub.
  Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her? -- "Selma's Choice...
• Patty: {Thank you all for coming. We've got some very interesting new developments in the field of Supperware.
  } Selma: {Uh, huh. This is the 128-ounce tub. You can fit your whole head in it....
• Come on Jub Jub. Let's go home and I'll microwave you some nice roaches.
  -- The perfect evening in perspective, "A Fish Called Selma...
• Selma: Make sure my iguana's okay. Troy: Selma, Jub-Jub is fantastic.
  He's everywhere you wanna be. [shows Selma her room] Welcome to your new home baby, it's fantastic....
• I tried to repel him, I really did!
  -- Patty to Selma, on Principal Skinner, "Principal Charming...
• Patty: [walks up to the podium] Take a hike, bozo. And that eulogy better not show up on the bill.
  I'll keep this short. Gladys lived alone, died alone....
• Kid: Paper or plastic? Selma: You decide. [looks down] So, wearing a belt, are you?
  Kid: Uh-huh. Selma: No suspenders for you. Kid...
• Marge: I've got to tell Homer about this baby in just the right way and at just the right time.
  Until then, please, keep this to yourselves....
• Selma: Thank you, doctor. Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor.
  -- But I play one on TV!, "Selma's Choice...