Related:

• Selma: You _married_ me just to help you carreer? Troy
  You make it sound so sordid, look: don't we have a good time together?...
• Come on Jub Jub. Let's go home and I'll microwave you some nice roaches.
  -- The perfect evening in perspective, "A Fish Called Selma...
• Selma: You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming out of you.
  .. Oh, I'm all out. Troy: Here, try one of my cigars....
• Selma: It's so modern... it's ultra-modern, like living in a not-to-distant future.
  Troy: Now you make yourself at home here, I'll be sleeping downstairs in the visitors center....
• Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet Iguana, Jub-Jub.
  Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her? -- "Selma's Choice...
• Patty: {Thank you all for coming. We've got some very interesting new developments in the field of Supperware.
  } Selma: {Uh, huh. This is the 128-ounce tub. You can fit your whole head in it....
• Parker: Hey sleep is for has-beens, my friend, and you're about to have a very crowded schedule.
  This marriage scam is paying off big time. Bartende...
• Selma: [menacing] Is this a sham marriage? Troy: Sure baby, is that a problemo?
  -- Fair enough, "A Fish Called Selma...
• Selma: Now, Mr. McClure, would you like to take off those glasses, and read the top line?
  [points to an eye chart] Troy: Err... W... 7... star....