Related:

• Selma: Sorry, my mind's made up. Patty: Why do you want to have a baby so bad?
  Selma: I got a lot of love to give, and right now my only outlet is my ham radio....
• Gladys: To my sister Jackie, I leave my pet Iguana, Jub-Jub.
  Jackie: Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her? -- "Selma's Choice...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Selma: Oh, Jub-Jub. Patty: When I went to pick him up, Mom was trying to stab him with a hat pin.
  -- Close enough, "Selma's Choice...
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• Hi, I'm Lionel Hutz, executor of Gladys Bouvier's estate.
  She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this "Play" button....
• Marge: All our money's tied up in this woman. If she fails, we're broke.
  If she succeeds, I have no husband. I don't know what to root for....
• Lisa: [on the phone] Dad, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
  Homer: Uh, isn't this the kind of thing your mother's better at?...
• Kid: Paper or plastic? Selma: You decide. [looks down] So, wearing a belt, are you?
  Kid: Uh-huh. Selma: No suspenders for you. Kid...