Kent: Tonight On "Eye On Springfield", We Meet A Man Who's Been Hiccupping For 45 Years!
Kent: Tonight on "Eye on Springfield", we meet a man who's been
hiccupping for 45 years!
Man: [hic!] Kill me! [hic] Kill me!
-- "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie"
Bandleader: Welcome to T. G. I. McScratchy's where it's constantly New Year's Eve.
Here we go again! Three, two, one! Everyone: Happy new year!...
Kent: Tonight, on "Eye on Springfield": just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill.
The government calls it the "army", but a more alarmist name would be -- "The Killbot Factory....
Kent: Tonight, on Eyewitness News: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Man: Do Sonny and Cher still have that _stupid_ show?...
Kent: We'll watch Springfield's oldest man meet Springfield's fattest man.
[caption reads, "Opposites attract?"] Homer: He's not so fat....
Tonight, we salute the silver anniversary of the Great Springfield Tire Yard Fire.
Twenty-five years, and still burning strong!...
Is it a masterpiece or just some guy with his pants down?
That's our topic tonight on Smartline......
We got beets! -- Lisa, "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie
Marge: I need to purchase a brassiere. You kids wait over here in the credit department.
Bart: Oh, can't we just wander around and meet you back here later?...
Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son. Ba
Not bloody likely. -- "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie...