Is It A Masterpiece Or Just Some Guy With His Pants Down?

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• I'd like to alert our affiliates that we will be ending our show early tonight.
  Join us tomorrow, when our topic will be, "Religio...
• Artist: This will be the art event of the century.
  The greatest masterpiece of the Italian renaissance, Michelangelo's David, on a coast-to-coast tour of United States....
• Hello, I'm Kent Brockman, and welcome to another edition of `Smartline'.
  Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say, "No, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?...
• Tonight, on Smartline. "The Power plant strike. Argle bargle, or fooforaw?
  -- Kent Brockman, "Last Exit to Springfield...
• Homer: Pretty soon, every boy and girl in Springfield Elementary School is going to come and see this thing.
  Marge: Really? Why? Homer: They're forcing 'em!...
• Helen: You've got to lead our protest against this abomination!
  [shows newspaper article] Marge: Mm, but that's Michelangelo's David....
• Kent: For another opinion... Krusty: [laughs] Hi, kids!
  [laughs] Kent: Krusty, please. We're giving you the opportunity to participate in a serious discussion, here....
• Kent: Tonight on "Eye on Springfield", we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years!
  Man: [hic!] Kill me! [hic] Kill me! -- "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie...
• Well, Kent, to me, the hijinks of a few comic characters absolutely pales in comparison to the crippling emotional problems a psychiatrist runs into every day.
  I'm referring to women who love too much, fear of winning, sexaholism, stuff like that....