Related:

• Apu, you can take this job and restaff it!
  -- Homer quits his job at the Kwik-E-Mart, "Lisa's Pony...
• First you didn't want me to get the pony. Now you want me to take it back!
  Make up your mind! -- Homer argues with Marge over "Lisa's Pony...
• Apu: Now, these hot dogs have been here for three years.
  They are strictly ornamental. There is only one bozo who comes in and buys them....
• Homer: Oh, I need money. Apu: Well, if you need money, you should have at least jammed a gun in my ribs, or better yet, you could inquire about my help-wanted sign.
  Homer: You're looking for help? Apu: Yes, we need someone for the demanding yet high-profile midnight to 8am shift....
• I'd love to, but... I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
  -- 17 of 101 Easy Ways To Say NO...
• Apu: I won't lie to you. On this job, you <will> be shot at.
  [reveals his chest] Each of these bullet wounds is a badge of honor....
• Oh, the young man you replaced is rolling over in his grave. -- Apu, "Lisa's Pony
• He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.
  -- Apu on Homer, "Lisa's Pony...
• Apu: Ohh, I fell asleep! I have forgotten everything that Mr.
  Homer taught me! Lisa: Perfect. Let's roll....