Related:

• Bart: Dad, I'm really sorry, but I charged $350 on your credit card.
  Homer: What?! Bart: Don't worry, here's the cash!...
• Bart: I can't stand to see you so miserable, Lis...
  unless it's from a rubber spider down your dress....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Milhouse: Hey Bart, look. Krusty trading cards. The long-awaited "Eight Series".
  Bart: [reading the cards] "Krusty visits relatives in Annapolis, Maryland....
• Okay, so I committed a little mail-fraud! Haven't I been punished enough?
  -- Bart, after Lisa finds out about his credit card fraud, "The Canine Mutiny...
• Homer: OK, boy, I wrote down exactly what to say. Just read it and you're a shoo-in!
  Bart: [walks onstage, squints at cue cards] Hello, Mr....
• Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning.
  I really hope you try harder. Homer: Whew!...
• Lisa: [on phone] Oh no, that's awful, Mr. Puente. What?
  Oh, he owns the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash too....
• Bart: Hey, Lis! Guess who's got a genuine Itchy and Scratchy animation cel?
  Lisa: Oh! That is so cool! That is so exciting! That is so -- [Bart pulls it out] -- crappy....