Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning.

Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning. I
really hope you try harder.
Homer: Whew! That's all of 'em. [puts stack in front of Bart] And I'm
so proud you didn't try to forge my name. How about a present,
son?
Bart: Well, I _could_ use a new pair of hockey skates.
Homer: Done and done.
Lisa: That's not fair. Why is Bart getting a present and I'm getting
chewed out?
Homer: [sitting back] Ah, the mysteries of life.
-- Homerian philosophy, "Lisa on Ice"

Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
  feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it...
• Marge: Homer, didn't you get any milk? All I see is egg nog.
  Homer: 'Tis the season, Marge! We only get thirty...
• Lisa: [sobs] Mom, this is really scary. I'm going to get my first F ever.
  Marge: Cheer up! So you're not good at sports: it's...
• Marge: Now, I know we love the puppies very much, but I think they're getting to be a problem.
  Bart: Yeah, they ate all my socks. I have to wear...
• Lisa: I think she likes my present better. \< Bart:
  Does not! Lisa: |Does too! Bart: ...
• Homer: Why don't people like me, Marge? Marge: Mmm,
  everyone likes you, you're a wonderful person. Homer...
• Homer: Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV saying we didn't want you in our family.
  But those were just actors playing us! Bart...
• Marge: Well, leave it to good ol' Mary Bailey to finally step in and do something about that hideous genetic mutation.
  Homer: [snort] Mary Bailey. Well, if I was governor...
• Woman: I've been waiting for you, Lisa. Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
  Woman: Your nametag. ["Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"] Would you...