Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your
starving family?
Bart: No.
Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to
steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Uh uh.
Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like...
cigarettes?
Bart: I guess that's okay.
Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price
that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime,
Bart?
Bart: Hell, no!
Tony: Enjoy your gift.
-- What if he puts jelly on it? "Bart the Murderer"
Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your
starving family?
Bart: No.
Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to
steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Uh uh.
Tony: And, what if your family don't like bread? They like...
cigarettes?
Bart: I guess that's okay.
Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price
that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime,
Bart?
Bart: Hell, no!
Tony: Enjoy your gift.
-- What if he puts jelly on it? "Bart the Murderer"
Related:
- Bart: Did you kill my principal?
Tony: Uh, Chinese guy with a moustache?
"Bart the... - Tony: Me and the boys, we still think you got a big future in
racketeering and extortion.
Bart: Sorry, Fat Tony. I used to think your gang was... - Tony: Hey Bart, I hope there are no hard feelings.
Bart:
Get bent. Tony: I deserved that. -- "Bart the... - It's funny because it's true.
-- Fat Tony,
"Bart the... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Tony: I am thrilled you decided to let your boy continue to work here.
Homer: You know, if you need a hat-check girl, I've... - Tony: I didn't order this Skinner guy killed...
D.A.
But aren't you the head of this gang? Tony: No. I... - Fat Tony: Chief Wiggum! You honor us with your presence.
Chief Wiggum: Baloney! I'm not going to rest until... - Kent: And how long have you been on the streets?
Bart:
Going on five years, Kent. Kent: Ah. Son, your family...
From the same category:
- Homer: Come on, Marge, let me in! There's crickets out here.
[Marge opens the door, glares] OK, Marge. Things... - Lisa: I wish we lived in the kitty house.
Bart: I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night.
Go, my pretties! Kill! Kill! -- The Wicked... - Nelson: Hey, German boy. Go back to Germania!
[everyone laughs]
Uter:
I do not deserve this. I have come here legally as... - Homer: I'm thinking of a number between one and fifty.
Marge: Is it 37? Homer: D'oh! ... I mean.... No. ... - Wiggum: Don't worry, folks, we'll find your wallet.
Marge: Dogs! Chief, you're getting powdered sugar...
