Dear Bart, I Am Using The Stationery Mom And Dad Gave Me &l

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Dear Bart, I am using the stationery Mom and Dad gave me <for my
birthday> to inform you that we are now brother and sister in name only.
Perhaps if a professional so advises, I will give you a hug at some
far-distant family reunion. But rest assured, it will be purely for
show. [sobs]
-- Lisa writes a letter to Bart, "Stark Raving Dad"