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• And, for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys, ladies and gentlemen.
  Big guys who were great shots and spent money freely....
• Mr. Bergstrom: Lisa, your homework is always so neat.
  How can I put this? Does your father help you with it....
• Bergstrom: [enters the classroom, guns ablazin'] Skinne
  Are you the substitute? Bergstrom: Yessir, yes I aim....
• Apathy is a problem, but who cares?
• She looks around and sees everybody else's dad with a good education, youthful looks, and a clean credit record, and thinks, "Why me?
  What did I do to deserve this fat old piece of......
• One of the more difficult aspects of public speaking is waking up the audience after the person who introduced you finishes with the remarks.
• Lisa: The people who deserve it are on the streets, and they're in the slums.
  They're little children who need more library books, and they're families who can't make ends meet....
• Moe: [seeing a photo of Congressman Arnold and Lisa in the paper] Aw, isn't that nice.
  Now <there> is a politician who cares. Barney...
• Who cares who's on board?