Related:

• That's the problem with being middle-class. Anybody who really cares will abandon you for those who need it more.
  -- Mr. Bergstrom's parting remarks, "Lisa's Substitute...
• She looks around and sees everybody else's dad with a good education, youthful looks, and a clean credit record, and thinks, "Why me?
  What did I do to deserve this fat old piece of......
• Mr. Bergstrom: Lisa, your homework is always so neat.
  How can I put this? Does your father help you with it....
• We will need a computer to tally All the cowboys who scouted our Sally.
  There were some on her mountains And some on her fountains, And quite a few down in the valley....
• Bergstrom: [enters the classroom, guns ablazin'] Skinne
  Are you the substitute? Bergstrom: Yessir, yes I aim....
• Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. -- Christopher Morley
• Few ever lived to a great age, and fewer still ever became distinguished, who were not in the habit of early rising.
  -- Todd...
• Mr. Wilson told me he gets the money from a big slurpy fund, like all the government guys.
  -- Simon, "The ATM Machine", Eerie Indiana...
• But a short time elapsed after the death of the great reformer of the Jewish religio
  before his principles were departed from by those who professed to be his special servants, and perverted into an engine for enslaving mankind, and aggrandizing t heir oppressors in Church and State....