Related:

• Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter.
  Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $...
• Why don't I just give you this pen with my phone number on it.
  It looks just like a cigar. Isn't that something!...
• Marge: You know, <we'll> be old someday. Homer: Gasp!
  My God, you're right, Marge! You kids wouldn't put me in a home like I did to my dad, would you?...
• Grampa: I think Rudyard Kipling said it best: If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-to
  and lose, and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss, yours is the earth is everything that is in it, and, which is more, you'll be a man, my son....
• Marge: Here he is: Rex Harrison and Paul Anka rolled into one.
  Ooh, hmm. That tonic really works -- you and Grampa should bottle it and go into business together....
• If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. -- Lionel Hutz, "Marge in Chai
• Grampa: What's the matter, boy? Homer: Nothing. Grampa
  You haven't said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket [of `Shakespeare's Fried Chicken'] out of your greasy mitts....
• Marge: Bart, since he is giving you all of his money, maybe it would be nice if you'd spend some time with him.
  Bart: Well... Marge: Come on, honey. Bart: All right....
• Executor: May I offer my condolences on the untimely passing of your Great Aunt Hortense.
  As her only living heirs, you stand to inherit her entire estate....