Related:

• Homer: What the hell are you reading books for? Ba
  I'm doing "The Conan O'Brien Show", and I want to have some intelligent stuff to talk about....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Bart: Hey, Dad. What's the word with Planet Crackpot?
  Homer: Oh, I suppose _you're_ going to mock me, too!...
• Homer: Look at these bills: chains for elephant. Shots for elephant.
  -- "Oversized decorative poncho"?! Bart: Technically it's for a giraffe, but I think I can let it out a little....
• Bart: Dad, when did you record an album? Homer: I'm surprised you don't remember, son.
  It was only eight years ago. Bart: Dad, thanks to television, I can't remember what happened eight minutes ago....
• Krusty: Aw, heck: now where am I gonna get a danish?
  Bart: Here's a danish, Krusty! Krusty: Gimme, gimme, gimme!...
• Bart: Any luck, Dad? Homer: No, but the rabbi gave me this.
  [spins a dreidel] Bart: What is that? Homer: Son, it's called a droodel....
• Sherry: Hey Bart! Our dad says your dad is incompetent.
  Bart: What does incompetent mean? Terry: It means he spends more time yacking and scarfing down donuts than doing his job....
• Bart: I know that's funny, but I'm just not laughing.
  [taps head] Lisa: Hmm. Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul....