Related:

• Apu: Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer. I brought an assortment of jerkys.
  Homer: Oh, did you swipe those from work? Apu: Certainly not....
• Cable. It's more wonderful than I dared hope. -- Homer Simpson Homer vs.
  Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
• I have an announcement to make: The Simpsons have cable!
  -- Homer's important announcement, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
• Man, I wish I was an adult so I could break the rules.
  -- Bart is caught watching a cable porn channel, [Burger King alert!...
• Son, you shouldn't watch that other channel. It's only for mommies and daddies who love each other very much.
  -- Homer catches Bart watching an adult cable channel, "Homer vs....
• Cop: Word on the street is that you have an illegal cable hookup.
  Homer: No! No, I... It wasn't me. It was my wife....
• Lisa: Hi, Dad. I think stealing cable is wrong, so I am choosing not to watch it in the hopes that others will follow my example.
  That's the last you'll hear from me on the matter....
• Homer: Ooh, pro wrestling from Mexico. You know, down there, it's a &l
  eal> sport. ... Bart: Ooh, this is where Jaws eats the boat....
• Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies.
  Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseum....