Related:

• Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I need some guidance, Counselor.
  -- Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Wa...
• I just met this girl Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.
  -- Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Wa...
• The only advice I can give you is, uh, try to share common interests and spend, spend, spend.
  -- Guidance counselor dispenses advice, "The Way We Wa...
• Lovejoy: Marge, we can't tell you how sorry we are.
  Ned: You have our deepest condol-diddely-olences....
• Grampa: What's the matter, boy? Homer: Nothing. Grampa
  You haven't said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle the bucket [of `Shakespeare's Fried Chicken'] out of your greasy mitts....
• Homer: ...so they say I might have a problem. [finishes brushing his teeth, and polishes off a bottle of that wonderful Duff] Marge
  [reading from a pamphlet entitled, "Is Your Spouse a Souse?...
• Homer: [on the phone with Bart] I'm bringing Michael Jackson home to stay with us for a few days.
  [aside] Isn't that cute, he's heard of you....
• Heh, heh, Imagine me in a nuclear power plant. KaBOOM!
  -- Homer thinks about life after graduation, "The Way We Wa...
• Homer: All right, knock it off! Ned: Knock what off, Simpson?
  Homer: You've been rubbing my nose in it since I got here!...