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• It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
  -- Homer Simpson Homer Goes To College...
• Bart: Well, Pop, what are you going to do? Homer: [resolutely] Something I should have done a _long_ time ago.
  [long pause] Marge: You don't know, do you?...
• Marge: [goes into labor] Oh! Homer: [rolls up his sleeves] Step aside.
  I'll deliver this baby. Dr. H: Uh, why don't you let me handle it, Homer?...
• Homer: Hey, boy, wake up. Your old man found some deer.
  Bart: Huh? You did? Bart: Hey, wait, man. Those are reindeer!...
• Homer: Why don't people like me, Marge? Marge: Mmm, everyone likes you, you're a wonderful person.
  Homer: Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?...
• Bart: Dad? Homer: What is it, boy? Bart: I thought your car was really cool.
  Homer: Thanks boy! I was waiting for someone to say that....
• Homer: Well, I guess it's back to college for me. And that means it's time to -- what did I teach you guys?
  Nerds: [timidly] Par - ty - down? Homer: Yess! -- Woo hoo!, "Homer Goes to College...
• Homer: My first day of college. I wish my father was alive to see this.
  Abe: [springing up from the back seat] Hey! Home...
• Homer: Marge, someone squeezed all the life out of these kids.
  And unless movies and TV have lied to me, it's a crusty, bitter old Dean!...