Related:

• Lisa: I was in the library at the time, but Janey told me that Principal Skinner and Bart's teacher, Mrs.
  what's her name? Marge: Krabappel?...
• Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
  Wiggum: The baby looked at you? [picks up phone] Sarah, get me Superintendent Chalmers....
• Skinner: Now, Bart, son. I don't know what you think you saw .
  .. but, uh ... let me assure you... Krabappel...
• Skinner: This is absurd! I did not have relations in that closet and the fact is I haven't .
  .. [hesitates] um ... Chalmers: Yes? Krabappel: Seymour, I think you'd better tell them....
• Krabappel: As you know, Bart, your permanent record will one day disqualify you from all but the hottest and noisiest jobs.
  Skinner: What do you say, son? You keep our secret and some other student can inherit your gloomy, windblown future....
• Father! Uncle Apu! A teacher was in the closet with the principal and he had as many arms as Vishnu and they were all very busy.
  -- Pahusacheta Nahasapeemapetilon, "Grade School Confidential...
• We're not going anywhere. I'm going to do what Bart should have told me to do a long time ago.
  -- Principal Skinner, "Grade School Confidential...
• Mrs. Skinner: Seymour! I told you not to play in the neighbor's yard.
  Skinner: It's a party, mother. I was invited....
• Skinner: Mmmm. This dessert is exquisite. What do you call it?
  Krabappel: Applesauce. Skinner: [chuckles] Oh, of course....