Related:

• This is the uh most exciting thing to happen to our uh fair town since the Dalai Lama visited in 1952.
  And so, I hereby declare that Route 401, currently known as the Dalai Lama Expressway, will be henceforth be known as the Michael Jackson Expressway....
• Homer: Mr. Mayor, I hate to break it to you, but this town is infested by bears.
  Moe: Yeah, and these ones are smarter than the average bear....
• Ned: Homer? I'm as permissive as the next parent, I mea
  just yesterday I let Todd buy some red-hots with a cartoon devil on the box, but you can't possibly think it's appropriate for your ten-year-old son to work in a burlesque house!...
• Mrs.K: Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather. Van Houte
  Uh, how many of you have a house? [children raise their hands] Van Houte...
• Lisa: [to cab driver] Hey, I remember you! Mayor Quimby, right?
  Quimby: I, uh, er, uh, uh, no. Look at this licence...
• I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day, the funnest day in the history of Springfield!
  -- Diamond Joe Quimby, "Bart Gets an F...
• Ever since I called for the rescue of that Simpson lad, I have taken a lot of heat.
  So, I am flip-flopping! I say, let him stay down there!...
• Lovejoy: Your son has been working in a burlesque house.
  Helen: Principal Skinner saw him with his own eyes....
• Marge: Uh... sorry. Lovejoy: Thanks a lot, Marge. That was our only burlesque house.
  Belle: I _do_ love it when you drop by, Marge. Next time, why don't we get together at _your_ house....