Burns: Honestly, Smithers, I Don't Know Why Harvard Even Bothers To Show Up.
Burns: Honestly, Smithers, I don't know why Harvard even bothers to
show up. They barely even won.
Smithers: Their cheating was even more rampant than last year, sir.
-- "Burns, Baby Burns"
Burns: [overcome with emotion] I love you, Smithers.
Smithers: The feeling is more than mutual, sir. -- "The Telltale Head...
Announcer: Coming up next, our feature race: the Nuclear Power Plant Championship.
Plant plant! Burns: Ah, at last. Smithers, fetch the bi-oculars....
Smithers: Good morning, sir! To make up for my failure last night, I alphabetized your breakfa
you can start with the waffles and work your way up to the zwieback....
Lenny: [drunk] Eh, Burnsie. This was some swell shindig.
Thank you very much! Burns: [frightened] Smithers, what's happening?...
Smithers: Uck. My mouth tastes like an ashtray. [burps up a mouthful of cigarette butts] [opens bathroom doo
ees someone in the shower] [opens glass shower door] Bu...
Burns: Here's your caption, boys: "Local hero shuns spotlight and pitches in!
Smithers: What an angle! [reporters take photos of Burns] [he throws the hardhat down with a grunt and walks away] Lenny...
Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead of stealing?...
Smithers: Would you feel more comfortable if I left, too, sir?
Burns: Of course not, Smithers. You're. You're like a doctor....
Burns: [toward the Ramones] Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: Sir, those aren't -- Burns: Do as I say! -- The perils of being Smithers, "Rosebud...