Related:

• Bart: Hey, Dad, can I have a sip of your beer? Home
  Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs....
• Homer: Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, "Spaceballs".
  But instead it's been painful and disturbing like that movie "Police Academy"....
• So, I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.
  -- Homer's answers to life's greatest mysteries, "The Springfield File...
• Homer: [thinking] Hmm...Barney's movie had heart, but "Football in the Groin" had a football in the groin.
  Barney: [on the screen] Don't cry for me, I'm already dead....
• Marge: [annoyed] Wake up! Homer: Marge, it's 3:00am and I worked all day!
  Marge: It's 9:30pm and you spend your whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie's kiddie pool!...
• Homer: [changing channels, seeing snow] Hmm. Cable's out.
  [switch scene to kitchen] Think I'll have a beer....
• Marge: Homer? Homey? Hmm...[notices typewriter] What he's typed will be a window into his madness.
  [reads it] "Feelin' fine". Woah! That's a relief....
• Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddys, and kids with fake IDs.
  -- Homer Simpson The Springfield File...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...