Lisa: Dad, What's A Muppet? Homer: Well, It's Not Quite A Mop, And It's Not Quite A Puppet, But Man.
Lisa: Dad, what's a muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but
man... [laughs] So to answer your question I don't know.
-- No deep thoughts yet, I see, "A Fish Called Selma"
Bart: Why'd they make that one muppet out of leather?
Marge: That's not a leather muppet, that's Troy McClure....
Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
Troy: [drunk] Yeah, it's a good idea, Homer, but they've already made some movies about WW II.
Homer: Ah, hell... Well, what about Dracula? Troy...
Woman: I've been waiting for you, Lisa. Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
Woman: Your nametag. ["Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"] Would you like to know your future?...
Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.
But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me....
Marge: Selma! You're back from your date already? Selma
Yeah. I was so upset I ate a jar of expired olives....
Bart: Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
Homer: Don't worry, boy, he'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday....
Selma: Are you gay? Troy: Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem!
No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost....