the doorbell rings] Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma,

[the doorbell rings]
Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma, hide!
[Marge closes the curtains]
[someone pounds on the door, then manages to open it]
Abe: No door is going to keep me from my meddling! Stand up
straight, Bart.
Grandma: [tentative] Abe?
Abe: [in shock] What the -- [stammers] Now here's a piece of bad
news.
Grandma: Oh, Abe, you've aged _terribly_.
Abe: What do you expect? You left me to raise the boy on my own!
Grandma: I _had_ to leave! But you didn't have to tell Homer I was
dead!
Abe: It was either that, or tell him his mother was a wanted
criminal! You were a rotten wife, and I never, _ever_ forgive
you! [pause] Can we have sex? Please?
Grandma: [disgusted] Oh, Abe.
Abe: Well, I tried! What's for supper?
-- Cutting his losses, "Mother Simpson"