Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this. So repeat after
me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I
will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink naught but
burning hot cola --
[all the kids recite in unison]
Ralph: [scared] ...where fiery demons will punch me in the back,
Bart: [bored] ...where my soul will be chopped into confetti and be
strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers,
Milhouse: ...where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.
[a crow outside looks right at him an squawks]
Bart did it! That Bart right there!
Bart: [angry] Milhouse!
Lovejoy: Milhouse, you did the right thing. Bart, come with me for
punishment. [goes back for Milhouse] You too, snitchy.
-- Lovejoy the inquisitor, "Bart Sells His Soul"
me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I
will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink naught but
burning hot cola --
[all the kids recite in unison]
Ralph: [scared] ...where fiery demons will punch me in the back,
Bart: [bored] ...where my soul will be chopped into confetti and be
strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers,
Milhouse: ...where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.
[a crow outside looks right at him an squawks]
Bart did it! That Bart right there!
Bart: [angry] Milhouse!
Lovejoy: Milhouse, you did the right thing. Bart, come with me for
punishment. [goes back for Milhouse] You too, snitchy.
-- Lovejoy the inquisitor, "Bart Sells His Soul"
Related:
- Lovejoy: [holding cleaning brushes] I want you to clean every one of
these organ pipes that you have befouled with your popular
music.
[hands the brushes out, walks off] [Bart and Milhouse start cleaning... - Bart: Well, if your soul is real, where is it?
Milhouse
[motions to his chest] It's kind of in here. And when you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape.... - Bart: Milhouse...Milhouse! You win. I want this nightmare to end!
[a space-suited figure answers the door] Robo... - Bart: Hi, is Milhouse home?
Mrs. VH: He's playing in the dirt with his army men -- oh, and a white
piece of paper, I believe.
[Bart gasps, runs to the back of the house] Milhouse... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Bart: [sighs] I wasted five bucks on these.
Lisa: Where'd you get five bucks?
I want five bucks. Bart: Aw, I sold my soul to Milhouse?... - Bart: Milhouse...do you ever worry that your mom might stop loving
you?
Milhouse: What? I'm more worried about pirhanas. Did you see that movie where they send a nuclear submarine to fight the pirhanas, and one of them swims right down the periscope and bites the guy in the eye, and he goes, "Aah!... - Grandma: A caller at this hour? [to Mr. VH] You dial 9-1, then when I
say so, dial 1 again.
[opens the door] [TM] Bart: [sees Milhouse, sighs with relief] Milhouse, please.... - Bart: That's it, I can't take this any more, Milhouse.
I've got to get the real teachers back....
