Bart: Well, if your soul is real, where is it?
Milhouse: [motions to his chest] It's kind of in here. And when you
sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying "God bless
you" crams it back in! [gestures up his nose] And when you
die, it squirms out and flies away.
Bart: Uh huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the
ocean?
Milhouse: Oh, it can swim. It's even got wheels in case you die in the
desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
Bart: [sighs] Oh, how can someone with glasses that thick be so
stupid? Listen: you don't have a soul, I don't have a soul,
there's no such thing as a soul!
Milhouse: [smug] Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell
your soul to me?
Bart: [pause] How much you got?
Milhouse: Five bucks.
Bart: Deal.
[writes "Bart Simpson's Soul" on a piece of paper]
There you go: one soul.
Milhouse: [sly] Pleasure doing business with you.
Bart: Any time, chum...p.
-- The transaction thickens, "Bart Sells His Soul"
Milhouse: [motions to his chest] It's kind of in here. And when you
sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying "God bless
you" crams it back in! [gestures up his nose] And when you
die, it squirms out and flies away.
Bart: Uh huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the
ocean?
Milhouse: Oh, it can swim. It's even got wheels in case you die in the
desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
Bart: [sighs] Oh, how can someone with glasses that thick be so
stupid? Listen: you don't have a soul, I don't have a soul,
there's no such thing as a soul!
Milhouse: [smug] Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell
your soul to me?
Bart: [pause] How much you got?
Milhouse: Five bucks.
Bart: Deal.
[writes "Bart Simpson's Soul" on a piece of paper]
There you go: one soul.
Milhouse: [sly] Pleasure doing business with you.
Bart: Any time, chum...p.
-- The transaction thickens, "Bart Sells His Soul"
Related:
- Bart: Hi, is Milhouse home?
Mrs. VH: He's playing in the dirt with his army men -- oh, and a white
piece of paper, I believe.
[Bart gasps, runs to the back of the house] Milhouse... - Bart: [sighs] I wasted five bucks on these.
Lisa: Where'd you get five bucks?
I want five bucks. Bart: Aw, I sold my soul to Milhouse?... - Grandma: A caller at this hour? [to Mr. VH] You dial 9-1, then when I
say so, dial 1 again.
[opens the door] [TM] Bart: [sees Milhouse, sighs with relief] Milhouse, please.... - Lovejoy: [holding cleaning brushes] I want you to clean every one of
these organ pipes that you have befouled with your popular
music.
[hands the brushes out, walks off] [Bart and Milhouse start cleaning... - Bart: [plaintive] Are you there, God? It's me, Bart Simpson.
I know I never paid too much attention in church, but I could really use some of that good stuff now.... - Bart: Milhouse...Milhouse! You win. I want this nightmare to end!
[a space-suited figure answers the door] Robo... - Milhouse: Come on Bart. You're gonna make me a print aren't you?
Bart: Will you swear not to let another living soul get a copy of this photo?... - Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this.
So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola -- [all the kids recite in unison] Ralph... - Owner: If you are waiting for the Hi & Lois signing, it has been moved
to the Springfield Coliseum.
Bart: Please, you have something of mine on a little piece of paper....
