Marge: Homer, the guest should get the last pork chop.

Marge: Homer, the guest should get the last pork chop.
Homer: But I'm still hungry!
[under the table, Jay's and Homer's stomach growl at each other
like dogs]
[Homer's frightens Jay's into whimpering]
Jay: [taking the pork chop] Thank you!
Lisa: Mr. Sherman, I understand you have two Pulitzer prizes.
Jay: Well, I, heh heh, it's not like I carry them around with me.
Ooh, it's so hot in here!
[removes sweater to reveal Pulitzers]
Oh, look! Here's my Peoples' Choice award. Five Golden Globes
--
[puts legs on table; Globes roll out of pant leg]
Hmm...where's my Emmy?
[Santa's Little Helper coughs it up]
Thank you!
-- Jay, never arrogant, "A Star is Burns"