Marge: Well, I'm Just Relieved That Homer's Safe And That You've Recovered And That We Can All Get Back To Normal.

Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers] Aah!
Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait a minute...
Selma: Mr. Burns has been shot. Wiggum: Just a minute!
This isn't Mr. Burns at all! It's a mask! [pulls at his face a little] Wait, it _is_ Burns....
Lisa: Stop! Don't shoot my Dad. He's innocent. He wouldn't hurt a fly!
[they open the door] Burns: [being strangled and shaken] Ho-mer Simp-son!...
Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
[points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead of stealing?...
Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum, what are you doing? What's going on?
Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns' clothing and your father was identified by the old man himself....
Marge: I must say, Mr. Burns is being awfully inconsiderate -- selfish, even.
[Bart and Lisa walk in] Bart: Burns needs some serious boostafazoo, right Dad?...
Bart: He's great at pointing out everyone's foibles.
Larry: Hey, how're ya doing. Ooh! Look at your hair!...
Marge: What were you like as a boy, Mr. Burns? Did you have a dog that you loved?
Burns: Well... Daah! There's something on my leg....
Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...