Marge: I think there's really something wrong with Santa's Little Helper.

Marge: I think there's really something wrong with Santa's Little
Helper. He was up barking all night, and dug up the back
yard worse than ever.
[they all look out the window at the dug-up back yard]
Lisa: [gasps] My bongo drums!
Bart: [gasps] My strobelight!
Homer: [gasps] My "Best of Ray Stevens featuring `The Streak'"
album! So it was the _dog_ that buried all our stuff.
Marge: Yes, the dog.
[outside, SLH's head pokes up from a hole]
Homer: Oh my God! He's got the precious cable TV cable!
[SLH runs through the neighborhood tearing up the cable]
[at the Wiggums' house, the parents watch "Kent's Kitchen"]
Kent: Always use fresh macaroni. If the box rattles, throw it
away.
[the picture goes off]
Wiggum: Aw!
Announcer: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please, do not
panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones.
Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation
have left your genitals withered and useless.
Wiggum: [checking under the covers] Well I'll be damned.
-- TV, bastion of truth, "Two Dozen & One Greyhounds"