Homer: What a wonderful dinner. What a beautiful family!

Homer: What a wonderful dinner. What a beautiful family! Someone get a
picture of me with my arm around this steak.
Lisa: You're certainly in a good mood tonight, Dad.
Homer: Well, Lisa, I managed to solve a little problem today, and to
celebrate, I'm going to tilt my chair.
[does so] Mmm, slanty.
[a grumbling is heard]
Marge: Patty! Selma! What are you doing here?
Patty: We thought we'd stop by unexpectedly for dinner.
Selma: Now bring us some extra chairs like a good blubber-in-law.
Homer: Time to fertilize the lawn; a couple of 500 pound bags should do
it! [grabs them by the neck]
Marge: Homer! Be careful of my sisters' heads: their necks are brittle.
Patty: That's OK, Marge: nothing's broke...except Homer.
Homer: [gasps]
Marge: What's that supposed to mean?
Patty: It means --
Homer: [stuffing their heads against his armpits] It means these two
fabulous babes are staying for dinner.
Selma: [gasping] Now there's a stink I could have done without.
-- Homer's secret shame almost slips out,
"Homer vs. Patty and Selma"