Related:

• Homer: Bart! How many times have I told you not to bite your sis -- [gasps] Wait a minute!
  You _are_ a vampire! Abe: Quick! We have to kill the boy!...
• Lisa: Grandpa's a vampire? Bart: We're all vampires!
  Lisa: But, no! We killed Mr. Burns -- Homer: You have to kill the _head_ vampire....
• This is dangerous. I wish we could have found a sitter for Maggie.
  ..} -- Marge, on a quest to kill Vampire Burns, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
• I'm a vampire, and I've come to suck your blood! [His false fangs fall out and he crashes into the refrigerator] Oh!
  [weakly] This cape is giving me a rash. -- Fearsome Vampire Abe, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
• Bart: Come join us, Lisa. It's so cool: you get to stay up all night drinking blood.
  Milhouse: And if you say you're a vampire, you get a free small soda at the movies....
• Lisa: The only way to get Bart back is to kill the head vampire
  Mr. Burns! Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?...
• Lisa: [breathlessly] Mom, Dad: Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he has Bart!
  Burns: Why, Bart is right here. Bart: [droning] Hello, Mother....
• Marge: Homer! Are you all right? Homer: [meekly] No.
  Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night....
• Bart: Yo, Mom! We haven't got the eyeballs yet. Marge
  [aims the flashlight at Homer, who is eating the ghoulish snacks] Homer, you're ruining it!...