Related:

• Blackbeard: {[looking at the photo] Arr, 'tis some kind of treasure map!
  } Arnold: {You idiot! You can't read.} Blackbeard...
• John Wilkes Booth, Blackbeard the Pirate, John Dillinger, and the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!
  -- Satan introduces the jury, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
• Marge: Homer! Are you all right? Homer: [meekly] No.
  Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night....
• This is dangerous. I wish we could have found a sitter for Maggie.
  ..} -- Marge, on a quest to kill Vampire Burns, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
• I am Daimon Goss. And these are my councils Kole and Dr.
  Arridor. We'll need chairs. I'm Captain Picard of the Enterprise I am serving as host for these proceedings....
• Hutz: [walking around a corner] Well, I didn't win.
  Here's your pizza. Marge: But we _did_ win! Hutz...
• No, I have not grown roots into this chair!
• Lisa: Grandpa's a vampire? Bart: We're all vampires!
  Lisa: But, no! We killed Mr. Burns -- Homer: You have to kill the _head_ vampire....
• Ranger: I won't lie to you. Our chances of finding your children are slim to nil.
  Lisa: [from below] Hi mom! [Smithers and the kids are waving at Marge] Marge...