Related:

• Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.
  So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog....
• Tough? My goldfish can whip your dog!
• If you hide your generic food cans at the bottom of the garbage can, you can legitimately be called a snob.
• There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped three colleague
  an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked each of them in seperate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no can opener....
• You can have a dog as a friend. You can have whiskey as a friend.
  But if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing your dog....
• Get up Dog Boy! Show them where you come from, show them where you're going!
• There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there.
  -- Lee Iacocca...
• First, assume a can opener...