Related:

• You can have a dog as a friend. You can have whiskey as a friend.
  But if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing your dog....
• They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that.
  How many of your friends have you neutered? -- Larry Reeb...
• Any woman that you become extremely attracted to will tell you that you are the best friend that a woman could ever have.
• Be a friend to the earth and it will be a friend to you.
• If you want a friend, then be a friend.
• You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose unless you have really *chunky* friends.
• Homer: How can you do this, Marge? How can you desert your children?
  Lisa: Have a blast, Mom. Bart: Rock the Casbah! Home...
• When you lend something to a friend, you do not necessarily do that friend a favor for the friend has a damaged memormy and experiences some difficulty remembering the terms of the contract.
  Ultimately, you have harmed the memory of the friend....
• Have you @#%!ed your dog today?