Related:

• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.
  So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog....
• Now... Sit! I said, Sit! [Santa's Little Helper walks away] Um, take a walk.
  Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I tell him....
• I can see him a'comin' With his big boots on, With his big thumb out, He wants to get me.
  He wants to hurt me. He wants to bring me down. But some time later, When I feel a little straighter, I'll come across a stranger Who'll remind me of the danger, And then....
• Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ... In our house, we have Alka-Seltzer on tap.
  If you cook like I do, the best thing I can tell you is not to be sensitive....
• This is the story of the bee Whose sex is very hard to see You cannot tell the he from the she But she can tell
  and so can he The little bee is never still She has no time to take the pill And that is why, in times like these There are so many sons of bees....