Related:

• Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
  Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the Italians....
• British boobs are the best in the world.
• 2-0 is a cricket score in this sort of football.
• Australian Rules Football may best be described as a game devised for padded cells, played in the open air.
• A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a watering hole where the life of the jungle could be observed.
  As he looked down from his tree platform and described the scene into his tape recorder, he saw two gnus grazing peacefully....
• The best defence against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.
  -- British Army Journal 1949...
• The best research [for playing drunk] is being a British actor for twenty years. -- Michael Caine
• The best defence against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.
  -- The British Army Journal...
• I'm not loafing -- I'm just doing research on inertia.