Related:

• People say I live in my own little fantasy world...
  well, at least they *know* me there! -- D.L. Roth...
• If I die, bury me upside down so that the world can kiss my ass!
• In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.
  So, I may as well be me. Then I know if someone likes me, they like me....
• Homer: [gasps] You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names in boxing!
  He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!...
• I'm sitting in a bar, having a drink. Over here is a man having a drink.
  He falls down three times. I pick him up each time....
• My plainness of speech makes them hate me, and what is their hatred but a proof that I am speaking the truth.
  -- Socrates (470?-399 BCE) "Apology...
• My wife divorced me because I was having fries on the side.
• Thank God, I have done my duty. Kiss me, Hardy. -- Adm. Horatio Nelson, 21 Oct 1805
• Kiss me, I just ate a dead moose! Don't worry, I got the Signal! Come on; Kiss me!