Related:

• Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
• Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when they grow up, they won't be able to edge a car onto a freeway.
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons.
  A loud general cheer went up. After downing his whiskey, he hopped onto a barstool and shouted "When I take another drink, *everybody* takes another drink!...
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• Never kick a man when he's down - he may get up.
• WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published one book.
  2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did not publish it in referenced journals....