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You may be redneck... if the Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You may be redneck... if the UFO Hotline limits you to one call per day.
You may be redneck... if truckers tell your wife to watch her language.
You may be redneck... if you are allowed to bring your dog to work.
You may be redneck... if you are famous for your homemade squash wine.
You may be redneck... if you are proud that you can belch your full name.
You may be redneck... if you burn your yard instead of mowing it.
You may be redneck... if you buy a new house & have to remove the wheels.
You may be redneck... if you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells.
You may be redneck... if you can have sex without spilling your beer.
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