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• This morning I abused my electric toaster. Tonight the elevator held me hostage in revenge.
  -- Woody Alle...
• The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty. -- Woody Alle
• If God exists, why did he allow Nazis?" "How should I know?
  I don't even know how the can opener works." -- Woody Allen, "Hannah and her Siste...
• My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. Woody Alle
• When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. -- Woody Alle
• When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented my room. WOODY ALLEN
• It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
  -- Woody Alle...
• I'm not afraid of death -- I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Alle