Hello, This Is Jim. Unfortunately I Can't Answer The Phone Right Now Because I've Just Come Back From The Mirror Worlds And I'm Still Made Up Of Antimatte

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Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone
right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and
I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the
phone right now, the resulting energy release would make
Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at
the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component
particles have been restored to their normal charges.
-- Answering machine madness - science fiction