Related:

• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatte
  o if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker....
• I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually
  I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it....
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number.
  .. -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because......
• Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb.
  It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom....
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....
• I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember.
  I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself....
• I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain.
  Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you....